well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
