Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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