ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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