Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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