Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
