It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
