Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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