I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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