Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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