You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
