Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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