I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
