You just made me feel so damn special
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize