We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
