Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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