The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
