he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize