I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
