im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
