I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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