Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
