do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
