I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize