Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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