Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize