susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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