I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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