the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
