suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
