omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
