It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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