There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize