You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
