mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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