Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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