Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
