It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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