doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
