Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The adults are the big ones right?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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