a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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