I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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