you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Pooping to opera.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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