Small penises have feelings too.
it was like eating out sand paper
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
