Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
