im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
