I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
