I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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