Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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