Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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