I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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