No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
