No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
