I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
