Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
