The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
