Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
