I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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