I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
