Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
