It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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