The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
