So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
