My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
