i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
