A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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