i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you win again, gameday.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
