im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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