she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
