spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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