u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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