so that wasnt chicken after all
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I could make wine with my vomit
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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