You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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