I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
