How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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