idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
