I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think i peed on brittanys purse
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
