I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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