I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize